I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
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He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
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Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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