I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
