his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
