Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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