didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
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slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
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Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize