Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Someone signed my nipple.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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