i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think people are normalizing furries
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize