WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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