Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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