Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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