and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
