Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
