I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
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i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
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Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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