Don't EVER smell your tampon
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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