Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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