Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
