i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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