Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
