ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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