my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
