i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
