i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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