I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
