so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize