playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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