She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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