you're like a bully in the Christmas story
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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