I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
