He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
