Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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