I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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