my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
