nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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