she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
