If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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