ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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