If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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