Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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