Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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