You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
We named our party play list daddy issues
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
