i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize