Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
