I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
the raccoons are back...
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