somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
