We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Who did Billy Mays play for?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
