what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Mom said you looked used
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
