i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize