these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Buhtt sex?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
