i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
