forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
too bad you live with your parents still
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
