Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
