No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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