someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Randomize
