I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
