His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
