I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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