Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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