How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
