also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
