11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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