pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
