Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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