It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
