If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
