yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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