Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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